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The wisest man I ever knew had a cottage outside Loew
His name was David Alexander Kidd
It was David who predicted the world would end in 1960
And for David Alexander Kidd, it did
He was around his grocer, Mr. Spicer, playing with his bacon slicer
A lovely girl with great big knickers known as Sue
When the blade cut off his hand, he picked it up
And ran to see the famous surgeon Dr. Pew
He said: Sew it back on again
And he said: Of course, I can, my friend
But first, of all, you need to pay me 2, 000 quid
He said: But I cannot afford to pay
And the doctor said: Good day, push off home
As he did, but as he passed the water mill
He glanced up the hill up to where Chapel of St. Levy used to stand
And a little farther down, he saw Little Father Downe
He was sitting with a surplus in his hand
He was stitching up a tear
And sewing with such care
David said: Father, could you sew my hand back on?
And he said: There is nothing in God's plan that is beyond the scope of man
But first of all, you must have faith, my son
So while Faith held his thumb
David sat down, while his chum stitched back his hand, just like it was before
It's a miracle! Dave cried
The priest just smiled with humble pride
(Humble pride?)
And he saw him disappear across the moor
When Dave got back to his feet
Who would he chance to meet, but the wicked profiteering Dr. Pew
Dave said: Look what faith has done for me
Ah, and done it all for free
So, Dr. Pew, you know what you can do